


With All Due Respect

by Jocelyn



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Brawls, BuenaKai, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Jaeger Pilots, Shatterdome Family, Shatterdome Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:09:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocelyn/pseuds/Jocelyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Tendo did was host the traditional post-battle bar crawl with the Jaeger crews.  Things rapidly get out of hand when the kaiju worshipers decide to process through the streets, and nobody will believe that it was Herc and Yancy who decided to have a little fun with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With All Due Respect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StarsGarters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsGarters/gifts).



**With All Due Respect**

It began with good intentions.  Tendo was just trying to cheer Herc and Yancy up. 

Out of all the sibling Rangers, Scott Hansen was the only one Tendo knew about who seemed willing or able to split from his partner within twenty-four hours of a fight.  But Tendo had seen Team Lucky Seven after several engagements now, and it always seemed to go the same way:  Scott would take off for the red light district, and Herc would spend hours on the vid comm regaling his kid about the fight.

Not tonight, though.  Scott was long gone when Herc emerged from temporary quarters.  "Kid's mad at me," Herc explained wearily.  "He gets in moods sometimes after deployment."

 "But where's Scott?"

"Who knows."  Herc's voice was resigned, and more glum than Tendo had ever heard.

As for Team Gipsy, Raleigh was down in medical with a beastly case of this year's Shatterdome Flu.  Contagious bugs spread like wildfire through the base populations during high alert, and as much as the crews tried to keep their Rangers and essential personnel clear, well, there was only so much sanitizer you could smear onto everything.  So Raleigh Becket was out of action, meaning no deployment for Gipsy Danger.  On top of that frustration, Yancy wasn't even allowed to sit with his kid brother in the infirmary while he recovered. 

"Come on, big brothers, we're getting out of here.  I'm not letting both of you mope around all night."

"But Raleigh - "

" - Raleigh's zonked out under quarantine, Yancy-man.  He'll sleep better if you're not stressing."  Even pumped full of meds, the younger Becket was the most restless guy Tendo had ever met, and both teams had been drifting long enough that one brother's mood could unsettle the other. 

Herc recognized Yancy's stress and gave into Tendo's importuning to haul the elder Becket along.  "Tendo's right, mate, you'll go nuts pacing around the Dome.  I haven't been to LA in a dozen years.  Show me what's fun to do in this town."

"CREW BAR CRAWL, ASSEMBLE, TWENTY MINUTES!" Tendo roared onto the Dome-wide intercom.  Herc and the other out-of-towners nearly collapsed in shock, while Yancy and the locals just laughed. 

"How in God's name does Marshall Ramirez let you get away with that?!" demanded Herc.

Tendo winked at him as everyone on Team Gipsy rolled their eyes.  He'd had this conversation before.  "What's she gonna do, fire me?  I make it a matter of pride to get at least one demerit a week."

"Marshall Pentecost's here too," someone pointed out.

"Okay, two demerits."  Tendo wrinkled his nose.  "Maybe three.”  Yancy and Herc laughed out loud. 

The usual post-combat bar-hopping crowd assembled and began wrangling over who would be the designated drivers (and take responsibility for checking out vehicles), and Tendo was diving for cover to avoid Marshalls Pentecost and Ramirez's glowering scan of the group when somebody bellowed, "ROMEO BLUE IS IN THE HOUSE!"

"HEYYYY, GAGES!" 

Tendo and the others whooped as Herc and Yancy led the vanguard of the stampede to welcome the twins and a few dozen of their crew.  "What're you guys doing here?  I thought you were going back up to Anchorage right after pickup?" demanded Yancy.

The twins grinned at each other.  "We went AWOL - kidding!" Bruce exclaimed at Marshall Pentecost's startled look.  "Marshall Gagnon gave us leave for the class reunion.  We haven't seen you two since 2015!"  The twins each embraced Herc in turn.  "Where's your bro?"

"Skirt-chasing.  He misses you, his fault," said Herc cheerfully.

"Scotty-boy never changes. What about your little bro, Yancy-man?  Where's the kiddo?" Trevin looked around for Raleigh.

Yancy tried but didn't quite succeed in being blasé about it.  "Infirmary.  Shatterdome Plague's in full swing, and they kicked me out for quarantine."

"Aw, well.  All grown-ups, then.  We've got twenty-four hours.  Let's make 'em count."

Tendo decided to take one for the team and stay sober so all four Rangers would be free to imbibe and catch up.  He happily drove and listened to them swapping gossip from Anchorage, LA, and Sydney. "So she's  _throwing_ herself at us, man, and Bruce is like, 'Baby, I don't swing that way.'  She's all, 'I don't care, I've always wanted to do twins!'"

"Come on, that can't be the first time someone's tried to pick you both up!" Yancy protested.  "That happens to Rals and me almost every night!"

"But can you always see the camera poking out of their pockets?" Bruce crowed.  Herc hooted and slapped his thighs, and the twins were practically cackling.  "I dunno if she was getting paid - I hope not, they should ask for their money back.  She was not subtle  _at all._ "

"Herc'll get all the play tonight since Lucky actually got to take a few swings," said Tendo as they piled out of the hummer onto the nightclub strip. 

Herc cast dubious eyes around the young, scantily dressed throngs.  "Dunno, mate.  I may be getting to old for this."

Trevin snorted.  "You and Chrome Brutus played Red Rover with a kaiju this morning.  You can handle a pub crawl, dude."

"How's Ilisapie, by the way?" one of the crew called, coming towards the twins.  "I heard she broke some ribs."

"No breaks, but she's pretty bruised, and the medics think Zeke's got a concussion,” said Bruce.  “They're in the Portland hospital overnight.  They said to say hi."

Herc's attention had been drawn to a towering, ostentatiously-lit spire visible over the tops of the bars towards the waterfront.  "What's  _that_ monstrosity of architecture?"

Everyone who'd been in LA during the past year cracked up.  Herc and the Sydney crowd blinked at them.  "Oooh, I guess you haven't heard about this!"  The twins exchanged matching evil grins. 

Yancy pointed.  " _That,_ Ranger Hansen, is the Temple Headquarters of Buenakai."

Herc's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.  He looked from them back to the spire back to them so fast that Tendo was surprised he didn't get whiplash.  "You're having me on!"

"Nope!"  They hustled Herc into the nearest bar lest the ever-present paparazzi land a money shot of him gaping at the temple.  "Bet you those crackheads are sad tonight," Tendo remarked once they were all armed with drinks.  "Mourning for one of their big ugly demigods."

"That's exactly what they're doing!" Marguerite, the bartender informed them.  "They all go processing down there whenever there's an attack.  It's ridiculous."

"I think it's freaking hilarious," said someone.  "Sometimes they do the whole 'Repent: The End Is Coming' thing on street corners.  They're like a Saturday Night Live sketch."

Herc grimaced.  "It'd be funnier if they didn't have the kind of money to afford a 'temple' like that."

But the twins waved him off.  "They've got a couple of billionaires, yeah, but most people know they're nucking futs.  Fewer people take them seriously then the jerks who keep having us audited and want the US to withdraw from the PPDC."

"Yeah, the armchair quarterbacks, like Rals always says," agreed Yancy.   Pulling a hilarious face and affecting a nasal accent, he pointed at the TV playing highlights of the morning's battle and whined, " _'Mehh, the Jaegers're a such a waste of funding, weehhh, why don't we just bomb the Breach, eeeeh! Heyyy, I gotta great idea, let's build a big-ass wall, ooohh!_ '"

As the crew chortled and added their own imitations of their favorite pundits, the call went up for the crowd to move on.  "We takin' this party on the road or what?"

"The Dusty Wombat's giving two-for-one shots to everyone with dog tags tonight," said Marguerite.  "The owner's from Portland."

" _Merci, mon cherie_ !" Yancy exclaimed, kissing her on the cheek and tucking a large bill down her shirt.  "See you later!"

"Happy pubbing!  Oh no!" Marguerite shoved Herc's handful of bills back at him.  "You drink free in our house tonight, Ranger Hansen, and so does your crew.  You fought today."

Team Lucky cheered, while the twins launched into crybaby imitations, and Yancy quickly joined them.  "Many thanks, love!"  Herc mock-saluted her and shoved Gages and Becket out ahead.  "Go on, go on, outta here, you useless kids!  Make way for the field soldiers!"

"New rule!  Every time someone sings  _'Get Lucky'_ we all do a shot!"

Tendo made a mental note to kick the ass of whoever'd come up with that rule - because it seemed every bar in Los Angeles was playing " _Get Lucky_ " and “ _Chrome Plated Heart_ .”  Herc Hansen was the drunkest he'd ever seen, probably because there wasn't a single bar in Los Angeles that would allow him to pay for a drink.

* * *

The Buenakai weren’t immured in their temple crying big fat whackadoo tears over their dead demigod, it turned out.  They processed through the streets of Los Angeles in their red robes and blue chains like a medieval monastery from the X-Files, chanting some weird combination of Cantonese, Japanese, and Latin, with a few representatives squalling out admonitions in English for the sinners to repent and accept their heavenly messengers. 

The Shatterdome crews and the Jaeger flies and the locals weren’t quite sure how to react to this new development. (And by that time of night, everybody’s reactions were rather slowed down.)  The bouncers at the bar where they’d been as the procession came intoning down the street looked like they were bracing for chaos… but the Corps personnel just stared.

“That’s…” murmured Tendo.

“Yeah,” agreed one of the twins.

“Freaking  _surreal_ ,” said someone.

Yancy was downright mellow about it.  “Didn’t I see this on Doctor Who once?” 

Herc was snickering… actually, the noise he was making sounded dangerously close to giggling. “I once threatened Scott we were going to form the Order of the Mech and take vows of poverty and abstinence.”

“That ain’t poverty,” muttered a bouncer, gesturing scornfully at the lit-up temple and the iridescent blue jewels that adorned the marchers. 

“And fifty bucks says that ain’t abstinence,” Tendo agreed. 

Bruce let out a pained groan.  “Oh, shit, do  _not_ think about that, do  _not - ”_

“Hellll, too late!  Thanks, Choi!”  Trevin threw an elbow at Tendo.

Laughter rippled through the milling watchers down at the end of the procession, and Tendo spied two figures who obviously weren't from the temple.  They appeared to have red tablecloths over their heads and were trailing after the procession, intoning random nonsense.  Tendo grinned and turned to comment on it to Herc, only to find himself missing two Rangers.  "Hey, where'd Yance and Herc go..."

He trailed off and stared at the twins.  Bruce and Trevin stared back, then leaned forward as the infiltrators took their taunts up a notch and sped up their pace to weave around the kaiju monks, causing several of the true believers to falter in outrage.  The bar-going crowd, on the other hand, began to whoop encouragement, and several guys - not Dome staff, frat boys from the look of them - went running across the street to an Italian restaurant with red tablecloths whose proprietor was doubled over with laughter and happily welcomed them in.

"Oh, man, this is gonna be good!"

But Tendo and the twins were too busy trying to get a peek at the pair who'd started it.  Trevin made a noise like a squawk when one of them - now doing some kind of vampire-zombie walk - flapped his "robe" in their direction.

The twins looked at each other, then at Tendo, then at the clowns.  "Bruce, tell me that wasn't Yancy."

"Okay, that wasn't Yancy."

Then the mock-monk's partner in crime blundered into him, both of them breaking into drunken snorts of laughter, and -   _Jesus H. Christ, Herc Hansen is spoofing the kaiju kooks!_

Worse, the kaiju kooks were getting offended.  Reprieve came in the form of a dozen local college dudes wearing more red tablecloths, swooping around like a cross between a lame witchcraft movie and the Flying Nun.  "Quick, let's get our guys out of there before we all end up on TV," urged one of the twins, and they ran to capture their runaway colleagues.

There was just one problem:  the twins were recognized. 

"THE BLASPHEMERS!" one of the worshippers screeched, pointing dramatically at Bruce and Trevin.

At first, nobody among the witnesses was offended because the Corps personnel in the vicinity just broke up laughing.  Herc tossed off his improvised hood and bellowed, "RAAAHH!!" and Yancy collapsed into Tendo's arms, guffawing so hard he couldn't stay upright.  

The twins decided to roll with it.  "Party in Jaeger-hell!"

"WOOOO!!!"

It might have remained just a gleeful snark party if all of the Buenakai had just slunk back to their temple... but a few lingered to try to shout over the taunts.  "The kaiju are heaven's messengers!  You spit in the face of God's warning!"

"Technically, we shoot at it and punch it in the face," said Herc, flipping his tablecloth/cloak over his arm and folding it with surprising deftness for a man who was staggering drunk.  He accepted a bottle of beer from one of several outstretched hands and mock-toasted the outraged pseudo-monks. 

"The blue-blooded angels will destroy all your false idols!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"They are god's army!"

"We have a Hulk," Yancy replied. “Dude, I’ve always wanted to say that!”

"Repent!"

"Westboro's more impressive than you," one of the twins decided.

Then one of the red-robes, an American judging by his accent, decided to up the ante and pointed at Herc. "Your SON will bleed under the feet of the kaiju like his mother before him!"

Dead silence.  PPDC personnel, bar-goers, and kaiju-worshippers stared at each other. 

For a minute, Tendo's own brain sort-of went into a feedback loop of shock as he recognized that this guy knew  _exactly_ what he was saying and had meant it  _exactly_ how it sounded.  Hercules Hansen's status as a Scissure widower and single father had made the rounds multiple times in the media.

It was Yancy who made the first lunge as bouncers from all the surrounding bars converged amid chorused shouts of "oh shit!" and "what the hell?!" Battle cries rang out in half a dozen different languages.  The loudmouth tried to run for it, but Yancy tackled him and dragged him backward towards Herc.

"Where you going, jackass?  C'mere and say that without a hood over your head!"  The famously-mellow elder Becket was red-faced, teeth bared, and really freaking scary.

No surprise that the guy under the hood was barely out of his teens, some snot-nosed punk in designer clothes under his red robes.  A part of Tendo knew there'd be hell to pay when all the pictures that cell phone cameras were snapping hit the Internet, but the rest of him just couldn't care beyond making this little shit stand face-to-face with the Ranger whose wife and kid he'd just had a go at.

Herc had lost all humor in a flash and stood straight, feet apart and arms at his sides, every inch the Ranger and the soldier as Yancy and a couple of locals manhandled the hapless Buenakai in front of him... then he sniffed and remarked, "Smells like he just pissed himself."

Laughter erupted again, and cops and bouncers waded into the fray and ordered, "That's enough!  Break it up!"

Herc only closed the distance long enough to purr, "Watch yourself, kid.  Those angels of yours'll be better company than us humans soon."  He stepped smoothly back and gestured to Yancy and the others.  "Go on, let him go."

"Get out of here."  The punk needed no urging, but Yancy shoved him anyway.  He fled amid scornful shouts and a barrage of beer cans and other projectiles.  Once he was gone, the crowd was laughing again, but Tendo hurried towards Herc.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine."  Herc waved him off and looked at the red tablecloth on his arm.  "Let's give these back to Alfonso over there, hey?"

"You shoulda head-butted him," said one of the crew.  "He'd be flat."

Yancy laughed, his feathers smoothing down.  "Then he'd have shit himself and somebody'd have to clean the street."

"If Team Chrome was here, they'd have done it," retorted Bruce.

 "They  _did_ it, and that's why Zeke's got a concussion!"

The Italian restaurant proprietor came running to meet them, gesticulating wildly as he gushed praise, offering food and drink on the house to the Corps personnel. Tendo gazed at the fleet of smartphone-wielding onlookers following them and heaved a sigh. "How the  _hell_ are we gonna explain this to the C.O.s?"

"Easy," said Yancy, slinging an arm around Tendo's shoulders.  "We blame it all on you!"

"HEY!"   

* * *

_The next morning..._

Tendo swore up and down that they hadn’t been  _looking_ for trouble!  But for some reason, everybody assumed he’d started it. Well, Tendo and/or the Gage twins.

" _'Jaeger pilots in street brawl with kaiju worshippers_ !' Niiiice, man!"

And nobody believed that the actual instigators were Yancy Becket and Hercules Hansen.  Not even their drift partners.

Scott scoffed when Tendo tried to explain what the hell had happened.  “Right, Choi, right.  My big brother decided to steal a kaiju worshipper’s Snuggie and invite people to join the Ministry of Silly Walks.  Try again.”

Becket the Younger, no longer deemed contagious by the infirmary but still on the dregs of his energy, was miffed.  "I can't believe you kicked those freaks’ asses without me."

"I can't believe you let that little shit go after he brought Chuck into it," Scott huffed.  "You should've made him take his teeth home in his pocket.”

"He had to replace those Armani pants of his," said Tendo, placatingly.  "None of our guys threw a punch, so we keep the high ground."

But they still got called on the carpet.  "GAGES!  Becket, Hansen!" Ramirez bellowed.  "My office, now!"

Scott and Raleigh trailed in after their respective siblings, along with Tendo and those crew who'd been eyewitnesses to the night's shenanigans.  Ramirez had back-up in the form of a scowling Pentecost, so the guilty parties now had a double-dose of commanding officer retribution to deal with.

"Congratulations, gentlemen.  Thanks to your drunken antics, the Buenakai are getting free airtime by media outlets from every continent," said Pentecost.  "The PPDC's usual detractors are questioning our lack of discipline, and we've already received messages of protest for 'trying to stifle freedom of religion.'"

_Ouuuch!_   Most of the glares were being directed at the Gages, and while the twins weren't about to disclaim responsibility, Herc and Yancy weren't about to let the twins take the rap.  "I started it, sir, not them," said Yancy, stepping forward. 

At first, nobody believed him.  Raleigh scoffed quietly in the background, and Ramirez rolled her eyes.  "I'll put you on report as well if you insist, Becket, but - "

" - Actually,  _I_ started it," said Herc.  "The whole thing was my idea."

Everyone stared.  Yancy's martyr tendencies when Raleigh got into trouble were well-known, but Herc usually didn't offer himself up as the fall guy (no matter how much trouble Scott got into), so people tended to take him at his word.

Pentecost said slowly, " _You_ were the brains behind following the Buenakai around with blankets over your heads?"

"I'd had a lot to drink."  Amazing how dignified Herc Hansen could make that sound. 

Yancy huffed.  "Yeah, but I was the one who got physical when that asshole mentioned Herc’s son."

"A lot of us got physical then, sir," Tendo put in.  A lot of heads turned towards him at that point.  He didn't really blame them; he'd been the instigator of a lot of pranks, drunk or sober. 

But Yancy and Herc stood their ground.  So, with an air of weariness, Ramirez just demerited the two of them as well as the crew who confessed to throwing punches, and kicked them out of her office. 

The Gages gleefully beckoned Tendo, Raleigh, and Scott to eavesdrop as the crews prepared to ship back to Sydney when Pentecost came into Lucky Seven’s utility bay.  "Wait for it...wait for it..."

"Herc... _really?!_ "

Whatever reply Herc made was drowned out by Scott's guffaws.  On either side of Tendo, Beckets and Gage twins buckled, trying to stifle their laughter into their hands and each other's shoulders.  "Gotta watch it, man," Bruce wheezed, tears on his face.  "When Herc Hansen gets goofy, no one is safe!"

Raleigh was shaking his head.  "I never would've figured.  And  _you!_ " he hissed, jabbing Yancy in the ribs.  "You did a man monk imitation and  _nobody_ got it on camera?!"

"Takes talent, kiddo.   But he wasn't lying; I can't take credit for the idea." Yancy shook his head at the Gages and Tendo.  "Lesson learned again:  Don't underestimate Herc Hansen.  He's a crazy genius."

 

**~Fin~**


End file.
